Listen up girls. This is especially, specifically, hypothetically, and literally for you.
I had a shit day at work today. I came home all angry and tired. As I walked through the door, I found a package with my name on it. I was confused because I hadn’t ordered anything for myself. Inside was this shirt. I died. I thought it was a mistake, but then I remembered my brother told me to call him when I got home. That little fucker. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE MYSTERY GIFTS.
At first I was like whaaaa, then I was like OHHH YEAH. I’m exhausted and look gross but who gives a fuck?! Look at my shirt!
Nicholas. More like Nickels aren’t worth much. You suck. YOU’VE BEEN HAZED.